Lessons on love, truth and life
Last evening I was listening to the audiobook, Parenting from the Inside Out by Dr. Dan Siegel and Mary Hartzell, on different types of attachment styles in a parent-child relationship as well as how we communicate and make connections. The premise to any of this is that it all comes back to love. Every single thing we do. Whether it be as a child or as a grown adult, all we do is in the name of love. Either seeking love or giving love. We, as adults, want love just as much as children do. As children our seeking love will come out in what adults may call “behaviors”. Children want to be seen, heard and understood. They want to feel safe in connection and, ultimately, know they are loved as they are.
I had a feeling sweep over me as they gave examples in parent-child relationships and the missed opportunities for connection that happen so often. I just felt deeply, “Ryatt is always looking for love and connection.” “I am just looking for love and connection.” I feel in my bones a yearning to crack my heart wide open to accept love that already exists for me and to give the love I know I am capable of. Love is the most powerful force that exists.
What is love to you?
Love to me, is pure, unconditional acceptance to myself and then others. It’s full compassion, integration of all aspects of myself and appreciating every part of who I am. It is looking at my son with an ability to empathize, slow down and sit with him in his emotions and through this allow him to be heard, seen and accepted as he is. It’s full open radiant heart bursting with an enthusiasm for life because when we live in love, there is no fear. Love drives out fear. Love is Power.
Perfect (complete, full grown) love drives out fear (1 John 4:18).
After completing my Morning Pages and sitting with myself contemplating, manifesting, opening myself up to love I then opened my Bible. Lately, I’ve been just opening the page to where I am called to open it and trusting it has what I need. Today I opened it to 1 John 4. The Passion Translation reads 1 John 4:18 as ‘Love never brings fear, for fear is always related to punishment. But love’s perfection drives the fear of punishment far from our hearts. Whoever walks constantly afraid of punishment has not reached love’s perfection.’
The way I have treated myself is from a lens of punishment. That my decisions, choices and behaviors are inadequate. If I believe I have made a mistake I will punish myself. I, also, in survival mode have lived in a state of fear. Fear is a form of punishment. In my Human Design chart I have a survival perspective. With any perspective there is areas of strength and areas for growing. It can feel easy to develop a fear mindset from a survival perspective. It’s my job, for myself, to navigate out of fear and into thriving. I want to practice a mindset of love, driving out fear.
Love never brings fear, for fear is always related to punishment. But love’s perfection drives the fear of punishment far from our hearts. Whoever walks constantly afraid of punishment has not reached love’s perfection.
1 John 4:18 Passion Translation
The frequency of love.
When we’re able to embody the feeling of love, it drives out not only fear, but judgement, worry, doubt, indecision, anger and depression. When we are vibrating from the highest frequency, love, there is no room or concern for those self-limiting, low vibrational frequencies. Love is real. Love is true. Love is our basis for humanism. Fear is fake. It’s a false belief we have created as a way to stay safe in our egos.
When I choose to live in fear I choose to live in control and manipulation. I am then in charge. I am not allowing spirit, God, universe to live within me. I am not allowing the flow of the universe or trusting in myself and something greater than me. When I live in fear, I live of the flesh. Where I think I am better off fixating, ruminating and worrying about life rather than lovingly trusting that I am actually completely provided for.
Love connects us all.
I can choose to believe I am separate from and alone or that I am a part of a divinely inspired, magical, creative world where I am interconnected to each and everything on this planet and in this universe. I like the idea of being part of this tapestry, woven in as a specially designed piece of something bigger. Who I am, why I am here and what I do matters. Every single thing I think, do and feel has impact. It’s all interconnected to more than just me.
When I radiate love, I can live at my highest frequency emitting and shining this light and love to others, from within. Always from within. It is the only way.
How can I be love, receive love and give love?
In the present moment.
Love can come in a million different forms in every moment of the day. For me, my practice in love today is to stay in the moment. The present hasn’t felt like a safe place to me and I will find ways out by worrying about future or ruminating on the past. When I do this I lose connection with self, God and Ryatt. I want to receive whats for me in the present and I want to give in the present. I do not want to leave myself or Ryatt alone with our feelings. In the present I have all I need and can give all I have.
In empathy.
Another great practice in the present moment is for me to increase my capacity and ability to empathize. Literally, first for myself. As I sit in moments of fear in my chest or anxiety in my stomach I can stay with myself and my body and talk to myself like a kind friend. What would I say to a friend in those moments to provide compassion and understanding? I want to be this friend for myself.
Then for Ryatt. When he is upset about something, I can ask myself “what might he be feeling right now? how would I feel if something similar were happening to me? what could he need? how can I be a strong, sturdy leader in this moment and support him through this?” Without empathy it’s easy for me to not understand, not relate, grow impatient or overlook his needs for safety and connection in many moments throughout the day.
In trust.
I ruminate. I fear. I worry. If I wanted I could do this all day. Some days, I do. It’s my work and my job to believe none of this is true and that there is a different way to find safety. Real safety, Through practicing trust in myself and in God and the universe I can let go of these fears. Trusting that the present moment is exactly where I need to be and that I have all that I need. Through prayer and holding wants for myself I can trust that I will be guided and divinely inspired to move forward in the direction of my dreams. Trusting that I no longer need to try and “figure things out” or ruminate on problems I have created. Trust in the power of love.
Through self discipline.
To love myself is to honor myself and my body. To care for myself so much that I can make choices that benefit me. To no longer choose self-sabotage, but to believe I am worthy and capable to have all I want that is in alignment with my highest self. This takes guts and determination through discipline to steer out of comfort and illusions of safety I have created and step into the unknown.
I have made this tricky. I thought having wants and desires for myself was always something to be enjoyed. That’s not the case. Life truly is lived outside of our comfort zone. To love myself is to choose discomfort in little moments of everyday life that help develop a new sense of self, greater capacity and new habits that are in alignment with who I really am, underneath all of the self-sabotage, hatred and fear.
Love is safety.
When I feel loved, I feel safe. When I feel safe, I am not in survival and I can open and expand to thrive. When I thrive I have capacity to create, learn, teach and grow. All is possible when we accept and feel real, authentic love. Where there is love, laughter can exist. Where there is love, life is.
Where love is, All is possible.
Anna Simon
I want to laugh more with Ryatt. He’s so funny and excited about life. When I am in limited thinking, survival mode and closed off to love, I also close off to my capacity for joy, laughter and connection. Where love is, all is possible. I am moving towards a space where I can keep my heart radiantly open and let the light in. To overflow to such a magnitude that I have abundance of love to give out in all directions.
Love is the key to our real self.
When we don’t feel loved, we don’t feel safe. We will close up, guard off and protect ourselves. Love is indescribable. It is like the invisible key to ourselves. It unlocks our heart, turns us on and opens us up to real life. To see vibrantly. To see more, sense more, feel more. To now safely feel every feeling with an embrace. Acknowledging that each feeling is just doing it’s just job and that it is a part of the human experience.
Love is kind. Love is patient. Love is real. Love makes life real. Move from that truth. The Power of Love.
From my love journey to yours,
Anna