Stop the ride. I want off.

I have a lot to learn about myself. I’ve been diving deep into meditation, Human Design and the like to help get to know myself and develop a loving relationship with the one and only, me.

I have a long way to go, but have also made a lot of progress. I’ve graduated from the idea that something is wrong with me to the notion that maybe my different is just what the world needs. Now, I may have this awareness, but I haven’t mastered the beliefs that support this. Everyone seems to say awareness is key, though, right? So, you’re saying I am on the right path? Then I shall keep trudging forward!

I see things. I see things differently. I see things in ways others don’t. And then I feel this need inside me to share these new ‘see’d’ things with the world and inspire them to follow their ‘different’ too. But questions pop up in this rapidly thought provoking mind of mine like ‘What’s special about you to share your thoughts?’ Are you even right? or ‘What happens if someone disagrees with your belief?’ This is the ride I’m ready to stop. Jump off and tear down. Never to be ridden again.

Done with the ride.

I’m so over that Tilt-a-whirl, ya’ll. It’s exhausting. I’ve spun myself so many times I kind of want to puke. Not to mention the extra food I consume trying to satisfy these feelings deep down. So, then I am full and spinning. No freaking thank you. I am done.

When we make a personal choice to end the cycles we’ve just given ourselves a gift of a lifetime. l i t e r a l l y. gift of a lifetime.

We can spend our life stuck on that fucking Tilt-a-whirl or we can STOP it – thus breaking our cycle. No more round and round. It’s like seeing all the cool people walking by and other rides or places you want to check out in the amusement park, but you’re stuck just going round and round and round until you pass out, your head explodes or you vomit.

Can any of you relate? Do any of you want to get off this ride of death, too? I liked it as a kid – but it was different then.

When you have finally reached your breaking point – you, too, will know how to get off the ride.

Anna Simon

We make the choice to get off the ride. At first we need the railing to keep us from falling over. When we stop and look around everything is spinning. But we also know that this is short lived and the best part is that we’re now off the ride. We will eventually be able to walk, run and explore again. Let’s just give ourselves the time to breath and regain function after going around and around as long as we have.

I’ve been telling myself lies a very long time. They still pop up, but at least now I am able to say to them – “hey! just because I hear you doesn’t make you real!” I’ve also gotten to a point that I am so sick of not living my truth that the idea of living it almost seems refreshing. Like, I just have no energy left to care what others think so I am going to just go out there and fucking do it.

It pains me, truly pains me, to think of all of you out there who feel this too. Who want off the fucking ride and don’t know how to stop it. Guess what, though? When you’re ready like me. When you have finally reached your breaking point, you too will know how to get off the ride. The fear of not knowing what’s out there no longer matters because at this point it can’t be worse than the pain and sickness of this ride.

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Doing it. Fucking doing it.

You will say the magic word, “stop.” The ride will slow, your head will spin and you will sit there a moment wondering how to unbuckle your seat belt, remove the metal bar and take a wobbly first step out of that disgusting, mangled, sun-scorched cart and back into reality. You’re head will be a mess, but you’ll see glimpses of things around you, you hadn’t seen before. You’ll say, “My goodness. Has this been here all along?”

That moment right there will give you the courage and confidence to take your next step.

Before you know it, you’ve been guided by the handrail to the Exit, down the stairs, off the platform and onto new ground.

Finding your freedom in letting go.

You stop. Look up. Squint at the golden sun in your eyes. Take a deep breath and say “oh my fucking goodness. I had no idea it was this beautiful.” This beauty gives you energy and this energy gives you the sense of adventure you had forgotten.

You may go explore other rides in this park, but now you know how to get off of any of them. They are all the same. When one no longer is fun – you say ‘stop’. You get off – recalibrate – take a deep breath – squint at the sun – notice the beauty of the day and move on.

Are you ready?

What ride do you want off of? Are you finally ready to be done? Do you want to do it with me?

Let’s be done. Let’s have some fun. Let it go. If it helps to know, that ride isn’t going anywhere. You can always go back. Likely though, you’ll never want back in.

Be free. Break that cycle. You can do this and so can I.